By K Scott Schlegel
•
30 Nov, 2023
Divorce mediation is increasingly becoming the preferred method for spouses to resolve their marital disputes. In fact, Florida divorce law requires that every couple attempting divorce must first attend a mediation session. In mediation, couples work towards a mutually satisfactory agreement with the help of a neutral third party, known as a mediator. While this process can be an effective way of resolving disputes, sometimes couples can get stuck, and mediation can break down. In this post, we will explore some tips for overcoming an impasse in divorce mediation. Try to prevent an impasse before it happens: Mediation can be stressful and emotional. It’s important to try and create a positive and cooperative environment to help avoid an impasse. This means setting a clear and constructive tone from the outset. You should make sure to actively listen to your partner and work hard to understand their perspective. It’s always a good idea to take breaks when necessary, and not let the conversation get too heated. Mediators are skilled in conflict resolution and can help you maintain a positive dynamic in the negotiation. Take a breath - separate: If you feel angry, frustrated, or overwhelmed during the mediation process, it's important to take a break. You might need to separate for a few minutes or reschedule mediation for another day. If emotions are running high, it is better to step back and re-group, as this can help diffuse the situation and create productive dialogue for the future. Put the issue aside for the time being: Sometimes an impasse can be overcome by simply putting the issue aside. You can return to it at a later stage when you both have had more time to think and reflect. Often, when you hit an impasse, it’s because you have reached a point where both parties feel compromised. Take the time to consider what you’re both saying. It could be that both parties are not fully understanding each other's position. When you have had a chance to reflect, you can come back to the discussion with a clearer understanding of how you might be able to productively move forward. Highlight the progress that has been made: If an impasse occurs, it is easy to lose sight of what has been accomplished. With this in mind, it helps to highlight the progress made during mediation sessions. This may give some perspective on how far the negotiations have come and help to create a more positive outlook for the future. Clarify the practical implications of the dispute: Sometimes couples can become so entrenched in their positions that it's difficult to move forward. In these cases, it’s important to clarify the practicalities of the dispute. This means that both parties need to be clear on the financial trade-offs, legal consequences, and the effect of their actions on the children. By understanding these practical implications clearly, both parties can approach mediation with a more level-headed approach. Consider retaining an issue-specific expert: If you have reached an impasse, the use of a neutral expert could be an option. It might be necessary to consult an expert like a forensic accountant, an appraiser, or a child development specialist. While retaining an issue-specific expert can be costly, it can also be very useful in helping you obtain a more detailed understanding of a specific issue. How can an attorney help? Finally, your attorney can be of great assistance in helping to overcome an impasse. They can help you think about different negotiation strategies, provide guidance on the legal and financial effects of your decisions, and can help to create an environment that is open and constructive. When selecting an attorney, it's crucial to choose someone who understands the mediation process and has experience in resolving disputes in this way. Divorce mediation can be an effective way to resolve disputes, but it's common for couples to hit an impasse. In these cases, it's important to try and create a positive and cooperative environment to avoid an impasse from ever happening. If you do hit a roadblock, remember to take a break, put the issue aside, highlight progress made, and seek help from an attorney or issue-specific expert. With the help of these tips, you can increase the likelihood of resolving your dispute in a mutually satisfactory way.